Love in the modern era

The scene: Mike and I have just returned from our morning classes. We are exchanging affectionate pleasantries when this gem passes between us.

Mike: You know, I really love you.
Me: Baby, I know it in my heart. I know it in my bones.
Mike: But does your butt know it?
Me: As much as my butt knows anything, it is confident of your love for me.

We don't settle for platitudes in our relationship, nosiree. Only the finest romantic prose will do.